1. |
Let It Rain
03:11
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(Pre-Verse):
Let it rain let it rain, sometimes it's better if we never know what comes with the day
(Verse 1):
I feel it pouring, feel enormous, like an omnipresent presence
with the pen and ink that's setting in my pages permanently
permeating what is aching in my mental instrumental
loop infinite though i'm choosing what can fit in, my schedule
times a rental no insurance just a promise we'll return it
don't like handouts but i like to be rewarded if i've earned it
I was born to be the sun & shine divine upon the surface of the earth
I know my purpose and some don't so I disturb them
Is it worth it?
To be a lighthouse to a moth won't turn my mic down from the mob
I'm thinking right now i should pause
And then I bite back on tomorrow the sorrow on my track turns bright that's my reaction to stay in tact
Sowing letters the reaper that's coming severs the demons of who i was to an ether from up above
I can reach it i dream because of the teachers that lift me up
if you see me just know it's love i know nothing but know enough yeah
(Hook):
Let it rain let it rain, sometimes, It's better if we never know what comes with the day
Water my life renew me as heaven speak flows through me x 2
(Verse 2):
You see the world's in decay and you want to save it
Let rain infuse with the seeds in the soil you plant today
If i had a child of my own I would look him straight in the face and say you have a choice, to be grateful or to complain
and I've felt that infernal heat lurking underneath where i think
purgatory a stagnant story I had to dead by recording
excuses could not afford it, I need a home before 40 a forked road won't detour me but on my tours i'll be orbiting and absorbing energy memories severing everything i knew as normal
turns to 777 angel numbers and heaven speak
through my portal to spirit that rain pouring I hear it and let ring
like a celestial being that sings fearless yeah
I want your palms/poems* to hear this that rain won't calm or clear quick
I pray my god i call the universe that's listening
when whipping winds to hit me out my throne of my indifference
the difference is I will be king
(Hook):
Let it rain let it rain, sometimes, It's better if we never know what comes with the day
Water my life renew me as heaven speak flows through me x 2
(Outro):
Wisdom lead with truth
Let the rain come through
Storm through lies undo
Let the rain come through
*originally the line was palms, but a friend heard Poems and I liked the ambiguity of the line. palms being where reiki energy is felt, poems meaning wanting your own deep revelations and musings to feel it.
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2. |
Comfort Death
02:42
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(Hook):
Been a little while of a comfort death
I'm numb to stress I'm under pressure
I feel like getting out the car for a longer rest
But I can't slow down 'til I get me somewhere
Been a little while of a comfort death
I'm numb to stress I'm under pressure
I feel like getting out the car for a longer rest
But I can't slow down no I can't slow down now
(Verse 1):
Twenty-something aging,
I don't just close no i'm burning full pages
Work got my head-soup stirred now i'm anxious
I can't hear gods voice nor be creative
Should i make content full-time live a life online?
Word of mouth spreads like fire through the grapevine
Selfish, I see them get theirs can I take mine?
Really I just wanna hit the breaks 'til I'm fine
(Pre-Hook):
I know I'm here for more than this
I'm frozen while giving all I can give
It's been
(Hook):
Been a little while of a comfort death
I'm numb to stress I'm under pressure
I feel like getting out the car for a longer rest
But I can't slow down 'til I get me somewhere
Been a little while of a comfort death
I'm numb to stress I'm under pressure
I feel like getting out the car for a longer rest
But I can't slow down no I can't slow down now
(Interlude):
Man... I just need to take some time off or something
but I don't know If i can
(Verse 2):
I was the news one day and I sang some songs and went home
8 months later out at some function someone told me they saw me that's all.
They didn't give me praise or attention just happened to mention
my robes they remembered it left me empty and so
I had told myself.
I can't make songs to be liked but to know myself
All the knowledge in my pen I can hold that wealth
I'm so tired of the fence that I'm on get help
but when i'm broke and behind when there's no one else
to give comfort I'm unsure and overwhelmed
(Pre-Hook)
I know I'm here for more than this
I'm frozen while giving all I can give
It's been
(Hook):
Been a little while of a comfort death
I'm numb to stress I'm under pressure
I feel like getting out the car for a longer rest
But I can't slow down 'til I get me somewhere
Been a little while of a comfort death
I'm numb to stress I'm under pressure
I feel like getting out the car for a longer rest
But I can't slow down no I can't slow down now
Can't slow down no I can't slow down now
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3. |
||||
(Hook):
Maybe I'll know it's time, maybe i'll know it's my fault
I let it build up inside
And if it's too much well I don't blame you for feeling that way that
you do when I tell you I love you
I cant just change that
(Verse 1):
I know it's mine, I just want to be there
Maybe it's my fault that I can't work on my own faults
Instead of yours
I know you don't believe that one day
What I'm asking, what I'm asking is too much
Too much
(Hook):
Maybe I'll know it's time, maybe i'll know it's my fault
I let it build up inside
And if it's too much well I don't blame you for feeling that way that
you do when I tell you I love you
I cant just change that
(Interlude):
And i know we've got some problems and we're headed to the door
And i know you threw your heart out til you hit it to the floor
And I know we've got some problems and we're headed to the door
know you know you got some problems know you know you got some problems
And i know we've got some problems and we're headed to the door
And i know you threw your heart out til you hit it to the floor
And I know we've got some problems and we're headed to the door
know you know you got a problem when your heart is in your (woah woah)
(Verse 2):
Dear Michael,
You try to teach your son as fathers will do to become a man
you thought your mania explosions would hold you above your nest
but I'm certain closed curtains and nervousness in my curcuits
flushed the surface of my face
My reflection was yours at best
See his voice was like thunder rain problably pouring underneath,
Couch-sitting dissassociating war veteran subtleties
Some days we were lucky when he cooked or took us thrifting
but the edge was always who knows when his energy was shifting
Avoidance was casual
I stayed upstairs right after school
And played my '64 until it's dinner time or back to blue
Or back to black, Just stay out of my way and watch your habitat
And watch the words you say cause disrespect? I won't be having that
We had a scuffle at supper before the nursing home
Would drain the life from him
and he withered in that bed alone
Said, "I don't like how you yell at me for my little wrongs"
He told me, "If you don't like it then you can move along"
My mom said, "maybe we will" and he barely spoke to me
After getting ill and losing both his legs it's getting real
no friends visited mostly my mom and sister went
To love him like i couldn't to prepare themselves for when he left
His last words to me, "Take care of them"
"I will", I Said and somehow in the darkness tied between us
there was still a thread
of "Learn from everything I am, and change to who you'll be instead'
at 4 am I fell asleep at 6 he took his final breath
(Outro):
Our father
Who gave us trauma
Hallowed be thy name
May we rise above your ancestral pain
Thy will is done
No longer here on earth
We see our way to heaven
We find solace in our acceptance
In our disobedience and unanswered questions
In our trail of tears that bloomed into prosperity over years
I've released what you've held
So you and I no longer collide
I let you go
And now I'm left with the truth
The truth that I'm alone
I am alone
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4. |
Can't Be Known
04:05
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(Intro):
I wasn't ready wasn't ready to all alone
no no no
(Verse 1):
Another night, another faint gray sky
I'm staring up from a park bench where cars pass me by
And i'm looking for an answer like I did when I was 5
I'm trying to figure out why things work the way they do
Why there's gaps of silence between my thoughts until they move
Why dads vibe was violent,
Why mom's hugs would always soothe
Why my elementary classes made me anxious 'til I spaced completely
Looking back did i move past what I was feeling?
Cause I've been waking up and shaking from these bad dreams
Blending with reality, now I can't tell if I'm asleep
Standing on this balance beam
Just scared to move toward anything
I thought I wouldn't turn around the moment I was 23
The moment passed but silly me
I 360'd back home
I thought that if the city sleeps I'd leave through it's back door
silently I'd sneak
But i'd forgotten, nobody was waiting for little old me.
(Hook):
I wasn't ready wasn't ready to be all alone
It's like a yearning and a burning feeling in my soul
I'm always waiting for a miracle but can't be sure
Some things are better said they're better when they can't be known
(Verse 2):
I want some rain to fall the light is just not matching me
I've held so much inside while knowing no ones coming after me
I meditate and pray to something opening some hope
When nothing's working for my greatest good and tightens up my throat i ask em
"Why'd you create me just to feel like no one's here to help?
And why'd you make it so the answer is to save myself?
Why'd you make me love these women that can't love me
I'm staring in the mirror trying not to think I'm ugly
and why am I so clumsy when it comes to conversation?
And why'd you make a filter if I mean it how I say it
And it hurts somebodies feelings so I have to keep refraining
From the words I need to say cause if they hurt my head replays it god.
I wanna see with clear eyes and less judgement
To face my inner child when he's in need to give him comfort
To honestly be naked no mask as I undress to be me
No more, and no less.
(Hook):
I wasn't ready wasn't ready to be all alone
It's like a yearning and a burning feeling in my soul
I'm always waiting for a miracle but can't be sure
Some things are better said they're better when they can't be known
(Bridge):
Give me patience when I need answers
Give me strength for what I can't handle
Cause I've been walking through the darkness where candles aren't lit and need a hand to hold
Take my selfishness
Take my pride I say to hell with it
Cause right now I need love
(Hook):
I wasn't ready wasn't ready to be all alone
It's like a yearning and a burning feeling in my soul
I'm always waiting for a miracle but can't be sure
Some things are better said they're better when they can't be known x 4
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5. |
Never Quit Again
04:48
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(Verse 1):
Yeah
Since the day I started writing coming from me was a riot
Blending forms like it's alchemy out from me came a sound
in his house
at home filled with doubt an expresionless taste sour
But lingering in my mouth so say it
Do I even have a purpose?
Feel like a curse to my family getting high and then hiding
until it's time for breakfast lunch and dessert
And my work is light so I'm rhyming to get me by
Cooking ramen and passing time but it will be mine when I get it
I tell my friends and they dig it
Went back to school for a minute
instead of notes I wrote lyrics my fans will scream when they hear them I know
They gassed me up when I was singing to the radio
Started rapping more I had to balance out the ratio
Release shows were building buzz like florescent lights
hanging from above me in detention
Writing desperate cause I really started looking at the world to just accept it
And everything I was was seeking glory from attention
That's a drug but when it's done and there's no one hitting you up
on the phone and you're all alone will you walk in the dark or fold?
It was good but at times close to me choosing another road
But this my story and my legacy bringing me toward my soul yeah
(Hook):
And I'm never gonna quit again
Never gonna quit again
I said I'm never gonna quit again
This a gift from god for my healing
And I'm never gonna quit again
Never gonna quit again
I said I'm never gonna quit again
This a gift from god my god now
(Verse 2):
I fed my ego with friends who went to my shows
and still I'd notice that artists here just didn't feel me
fake smiles, good job, here's your applause
Take my socials, I don't really need your vocals on my track
Going back and forth thinking do they think my music's wack?
Adding fuel to my fire when I woke up uninspired
Started looking for a view that's higher
Did competitions where some judges threw some disses
No one put me in their mentions
do I stay or keep my distance?
On my mental building pressure plus my rap group
is testing all my patience on my goddess tell 'em all I'm gonna make it
Pandemic hits and haults my progress
The marches for Flloyd open my conscience
Months after I got jumped by boys who wanted me gone from my own block
then controversy my voice was feeling stomped in
Next my car is stolen, music scene is broken, venues closing,
my girls telling me to quit, I never wrote my magnum opus
Now I'm saying this is it? I'm 'bout to lay in this abyss cause nothing's sacred
Swear to god I can't take it
But this my promise to myself after healing through all that hell
I've got my vision and my focus clear as well
I am never gonna give in
I am never gonna tell you that I'm quitting again
That's on my father, on my paper and pen, cement
(Hook):
And I'm never gonna quit again
Never gonna quit again
I said I'm never gonna quit again
This a gift from god for my healing
And I'm never gonna quit again
Never gonna quit again
I said I'm never gonna quit again
This a gift from god my god now
(Outro):
There's a love in my heart
There's a sound in my head
There's a music within
And you can't keep it out
There's a love in my heart
There's a sound in my head
There's a music within
And you can't keep it out of my soul
In my soul
oooo In my soul
No you can't keep it out
Of my soul
(random goofiness)
So there we go
That's the shadow work
Even after all that pain and trauma
If I can find a way to laugh at it all and even myself,
No one can take that away from me
But here's what you can take away from this
There's love waiting on the other side
So don't be afraid to start healing
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Phillip Saint John Minneapolis, Minnesota
Phillip Saint John is a Mixed-race Minneapolis based hip hop artist that bridges other genres together in tandem with rap in order to uplift and inspire the spirit. 1/4th of the artist collective PACT
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